I’ve always believed that being invited to visit someone’s home is a privilege, and I was raised to be on my best behaviour whenever I am in someone else’s house! If I see something I love, I will always compliment it and discuss it with the homeowner – but, it’s important to remember that people often have boundaries when it comes to discussing their space and way of living.
If you have a close relationship some discussions will come up and can feel very natural. However, these are the 8 things that you absolutely must avoid to be invited back:
1. How Much Did the Project Cost?
If your host has recently had work done on their home and mentioned it to you, it might be tempting to ask about the cost. However, this can be a sensitive topic. Asking, “How much did the project cost?” might make them feel uncomfortable, as they may not want to disclose financial details. Instead, compliment the results and ask about the process if they seem open to discussing it.
A good rule of thumb is If they want to, they’ll tell you how much it cost. If they don’t tell you – they probably don’t want to talk about it!
2. What’s Your Home Worth Now?
Property values are a topic of interest for many, but asking a host directly, “What’s your home worth now?” can put them on the spot. This question can feel invasive, as it touches on personal financial matters. If you’re genuinely curious about home values in the area, you can easily find out online through real estate websites without putting your host in an awkward position.
More often than not, the price of someone else’s house won’t really matter to you unless you’re looking to move to the area or doing your research before a move. Not asking is usually the way to go!
3. How Do You Manage in Such a Large/Small Home?
Even if you mean this as a compliment, asking someone how they manage in a large or small home can lead to unintended embarrassment. A large home might require more upkeep than the host is comfortable with, while a small home might feel cramped to them. Either way, it’s best to focus on positive aspects like how cozy or how spacious the home feels, rather than its size…
4. Why Don’t You Extend into the Loft?
While this may seem like a reasonable question, it can lead to a conversation about personal finances if your host would like to extend but can’t afford it. Let me tell you – the cost of loft conversions in the UK is astronomical in many places, often upwards of £100,000.
Asking, “Why don’t you extend into the loft?” might inadvertently pressure them into discussing their financial situation, which could be uncomfortable.
Instead, admire the existing space and leave future plans up to them to share.
5. Isn’t White Furniture Impractical with Children/Pets?
Questioning someone’s design choices, such as asking, “Isn’t white furniture impractical with your children/pets?” could cause them to second-guess their decisions. Even if you’re genuinely curious about how they maintain their home, it’s better to compliment their style and perhaps ask for tips on how they keep everything looking so pristine if they seem open to sharing.
Reframing your questions to being more positive and asking ‘How do you keep the place so tidy?’ is a great way of getting genuinely useful advice without showing judgement.
6. Is this from Ikea?
This question might be meant as a compliment, especially if you think the piece is stylish and functional. However, asking, “Is this from Ikea?” when the item could be a bespoke piece they’ve invested in, might cause offense.
To avoid this, it’s safer to simply admire the piece and ask the host where they found it if they seem eager to discuss their decor.
7. Did Your Kids Paint This?
Imagine the scene, you walk into a beautiful hallway and you see a painting on the wall. ‘How cute’ you think. They are displaying their child’s artwork as you enter the home. A real personal touch. So you ask, ‘Which child painted this?’.
The homeowner informs you it’s an original from their favourite painter.
Awkward.
Art is subjective, and what might look like children’s artwork to one person could be a treasured piece by a professional artist. Asking, “Did your kids paint this?” might seem harmless, but it could offend your host if the artwork was created by someone else. When in doubt, it’s better to compliment the artwork without making assumptions about its origins.
8. How Much Did Your House Cost?
Asking someone, “How much did your house cost?” is a direct question that instantly puts most hosts in an uncomfortable position. Discussing the price of a home can feel intrusive and may lead to awkwardness.
It’s best to avoid this question altogether and focus instead on the things you admire about the home without delving into financial details.If they want to – they’ll tell you! If you really want to know, you can find out later!
Have You Ever Been Asked Any of These Questions?
Navigating social situations can be tricky, especially when it comes to discussing someone’s home. By being mindful of the questions you ask, you can ensure your visit is enjoyable for everyone involved. I’ve been asked a few of these things myself and it can be a little tricky!
Have you ever been asked any of these questions at home? How did you handle it?
